If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to care for your loved one. Helen Drain, Dementia Trainer & Deputy Training Team Leader at Christies Care (christiescare.com) explains why you need to look after yourself…
If you’re caring for a loved one living with dementia, you’ve probably realised by now that every spare moment is consumed by caring duties or other commitments. When you’re not looking after your loved one, you’re probably juggling work and other family commitments and time is very short. You may even be exhausted. So, if someone were to suggest that every now and then, you stop and take a break and do something nice for yourself, you’d probably shake your head and tell them they don’t understand. You convince yourself you’re too busy, right? Yet it’s hugely important to take time out now and then to recharge your batteries. You can’t look after your loved one if you don’t take care of yourself. Your batteries need recharging, mentally as well as physically. Don’t give up every hobby or pursuit that you enjoy. While you may have to cancel some plans, or put certain past-times on hold, don’t sacrifice everything and make your entire life solely about being a carer, or you will end feeling burned out and possibly even resentful. Admittedly, caring might take up most of your time, but you need the occasional window of time for you, too.
If you take just an hour a week, or even ten minutes each day, to do something you enjoy that helps you unwind, read a book, listen to your favourite music, take a walk round the garden, listening to the birds taking in the fresh air, the scent from the flowers, perhaps chat to a friend – you will be providing better care for your loved one. You’ll be more focused, more energised mentally and less likely to be short-tempered during those tough days. Exercise is not only beneficial for carers but also for a person living with dementia. If the person you are caring for is mobile, go out for a walk together. Take a scenic route – take them out to the countryside. Let them appreciate their surroundings. The more relaxed they are, the less stressful it will be for both of you.
Make time to be on your own and try some exercise to release stress. Research conducted by Cambridge University published in 2014 revealed that just one hour’s exercise a week can reduce your risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease by half. The study, which appeared in the medical journal, Lancet Neurology, revealed that exercise is one of the most significant protective factors against dementia. So keep yourself active and you’ll be reducing your own risk of developing dementia in later life.
If you are sole carer, be aware that sooner or later the person’s needs will increase, which means you’ll need some help and support. Start to look around now for that help so you’re prepared for when you really need it. Remember in some cases an introduction to a new person or routine in their lives is best carried out in bite-sized sessions, increasing the time gradually. If other family members are unable to step in and help from time to time, then do your research into local organisations who could assist. Age UK offers a befriending service in some areas, where volunteers come and sit with the person, but if the person needs care then a reputable local home care agency could help. Visit the Care Quality Commission’s website and read the report on the home care agency you have in mind (https://www.cqc.org.uk). The Care Quality Commission (CQC) will rate the care provider in five categories – whether they are considered safe, effective, caring, responsive and well-led. You can also read a detailed report about their service which will help you make the right decision.
Carers often put their own health and wellbeing second to the person they are looking after, you really can’t afford to do that forever, where in fact as selfish as it sounds it should be you first so you are in top form, or both of you will suffer. Take care of you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
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